The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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