is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
