ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize