I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize