i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I deserve this hangover.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
