we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
