planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
