Its about making memories worth repressing
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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