where am i from again
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
