The maid of honor just puked.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
