I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
porn star boner night. come get it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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