How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
