Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
