I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
