It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
