I smell stomach acid.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
