yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
