you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
