he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
