I'm so fucking centered right now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
