I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
