You're my little dorito
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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