I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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