Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
