So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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