Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
