he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
