and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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