next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
