so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
