I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
