so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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