New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
