Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
