My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
