one two three fourrrrnication!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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