just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
