is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
