How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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