is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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