Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize