Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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