The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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