Pants 0. Shit 1.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
