Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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