She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize