I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
