i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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