I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
