New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
