If i come over, it means nothing
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
