He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
