I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize