Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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