i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
