i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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