he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
