Michael Bay diarrhea
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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