I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize