My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
