I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he quoted the bible to break up with me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
