Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
