24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
